Almost Brothers Podcast

The Slow Poof

Michael Simmons, Richard Randl, Tyler Wilkerson

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0:00 | 48:48

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Somebody’s mad at you, they stop calling, they get weird around you, and you’re left replaying every conversation like it’s a crime scene. We’ve all been there, and it’s exhausting. We open with that exact problem: people being upset with you while refusing to say why, how relationships “slow poof” into silence, and why being cut off without a clear reason can mess with your head more than a direct argument ever would. If you care about family relationships, friendship repair, and real-world conflict resolution, this one hits close to home.

From there, we get honest about the ways we contribute to the problem too. Sarcasm is fun until it isn’t, especially with people who don’t know your heart yet. We talk about intent vs impact, why it’s healthier when someone can say “that didn’t sit right with me,” and what it looks like to talk things out without yelling, blaming, or trying to win. We also jump into marriage communication and the daily friction points that can blow up at the worst time, like messy expectations, timing, and yes, the laundry situation that can turn a normal day into a standoff.

Then the episode takes a turn into the lighter stuff that still reveals a lot about how we live together: sleep schedules, separate blankets, heated blankets, insomnia, socks vs no socks, and the weird rules our bodies have at night. We wrap with a chaotic but essential debate, ranking Girl Scout cookies and sparking a thin mints argument that might not recover, plus cookie butter hype, ice cream toppings, and a creepy travel story involving a clown and a hotel moment straight out of a horror movie. If you laugh, disagree, or feel called out, we want to hear it. Subscribe, share this with a friend who avoids hard talks, and leave a review with your hottest take: which cookie deserves a perfect score?

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Welcome And The Slow Poof

SPEAKER_00

And that's that's that's yep, that's a thing. I thought so. I think so, maybe.

SPEAKER_03

I struck a thought. You can go to jail if you struck a thought. What's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, everybody. Welcome back to a brand new episode of the Almost Brothers podcast. On today's episode, we got Zeke Pooh.

SPEAKER_02

Don't say that.

SPEAKER_03

How you doing? Good. Good.

SPEAKER_00

He can't hear you through his hoodie.

SPEAKER_03

Richie Rich and Ty Ty.

SPEAKER_02

He does this every time.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You remember uh you remember Legion of Doom?

SPEAKER_03

Yes, I do. Oh, what a right. Classic tag team right there. On today's episode, we're gonna be talking about people being mad at you and you just don't even know why.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

That's a deep sigh. Why? He breathed it in and you breathed it out. And it's just like you don't even know why. Like, why are you upset because they don't they they they don't communicate it to you and don't talk to you, and man, they just cut you out of your life, cut you out of their life, and then they're mad at you because they cut you out of their life, and you just don't even know why. You're just out in the uh boy, I have I don't know what happened.

SPEAKER_00

I have two adult children that have done this to me. Yeah, they just disappeared out of my life, and there was there's no like falling out, there's no fight. There's I mean, it's just like they're gone, and it's like I don't understand.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's like what no poofing. What it just it was a slow poof.

SPEAKER_01

You know, you know, those those slow Zeke said what I was thinking, poof.

SPEAKER_03

Slow poof. So so your kids that you said that's happen happened to you kind of with some of your kids. Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, and it's it's one of those which Hunter's not bad as that's bad about it, but my girls are when they need something. Yeah, then they remember my phone number.

SPEAKER_03

Right, and then they call and yeah, hey. Yeah. And it's kind of small talk until Oh, there's no small talk. Oh, just straight into it. I go right into what they mean. Not even trying to butter you up.

SPEAKER_00

Um I need man.

SPEAKER_03

Matt Tyler, has this ever happened to you? Somebody just mad at you, you you you just didn't know, and maybe you you they came back to you later and like, hey, you know I was mad at you. Like, no, I had no idea. I didn't know what happened.

SPEAKER_04

Not necessarily that, but I've had instances where I've said something that I don't even I wouldn't even say was taken out of context. Uh well, maybe a little bit, but like they're but they came to me like, hey, you said and not like they were like holding on to that for a while, but you know, they came to me after you know a few days like, hey, you said this, and yeah, it didn't set well with me. Yeah, which which I I think that's fine. I think it's okay if if someone says something for you to kind of one pause, yeah, take some time to not be mad over it and actually think is this something worth being mad or upset over.

SPEAKER_00

And this this happens to me literally all the time because I am sarcastic by nature. That is my second language, my love language, whatever you want to call it. I felt like that was unnecessary. I was admitting my stuff. I don't need you to applaud. So anyway. Um I have had this happen to me, which and but I prefer it when people come to me and be like, hey, you said this, but what normally happens is they just dip. Yeah, they're like, I'm

Sarcasm And Unspoken Hurt

SPEAKER_00

mad at him forever because he said something out of pocket that I didn't even tell him affected me.

SPEAKER_03

When it's always some someone that doesn't know you very well, right? You know, it's uh it's always somebody that is just getting to know you because once you get to know you, it's like, no, he has such a big heart and he doesn't mean anything by it. He's just sarcastic and just comes off like, ooh, you're about as subtle as as a gun. But yeah. You what?

SPEAKER_02

Nothing. I said, ha ha Zeke.

SPEAKER_03

I love what he adds to the conversation. I have, I know, right? Uh because we're so close, obviously, father and son. But how many times have you been mad at me and you refuse to come and say or upset and you refuse to come and talk about it? Instead, you just went away upset.

SPEAKER_00

You ever heard the story of Pandora's box?

SPEAKER_03

It's an opening.

SPEAKER_02

Um, I don't know. A bunch.

SPEAKER_00

Dang, he's holding on to some stuff.

SPEAKER_03

So why is it so hard to communicate that? Because um could it be that it was something stupid that you were mad at? No. Okay. That couldn't be it. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

So normally when anybody tries to talk like to you, you always like try to be right and like you know, you can't admit that you're wrong. And you just like keep arguing that you are right.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah. So do you have an example of that? No. I lost count.

SPEAKER_02

Cause I don't remember the last I don't remember the last.

SPEAKER_03

It's so many I can't remember not one. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

The multitude. Cause like I remember I remember like the look I don't remember the last time. Sorry, hold on. I lost my like brain real quick, hold on.

SPEAKER_03

Um Hey, you're in a safe space. It's okay. I remember um We will laugh at you though.

SPEAKER_00

He's about to strike a thought.

Father Son Friction And Being Right

SPEAKER_02

Um I don't remember the last time like you got me in trouble. Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_03

You don't? Or you do? I don't.

SPEAKER_02

Is that the only time you were upset at me, or or it doesn't necessarily get me and you can just leave for a little bit. I'm asking for an example. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04

Do we need to call a licensed therapist? Man.

SPEAKER_02

Because okay. So say Zale, you know, goes in my room, yeah, and I like I like yell at her a little bit to like get out of my room, uh-huh. And then you'd get me in trouble, and I'm like, okay, go back to my room, play 2K. Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, well, I'm I'm sorry about that. You're here's my question. What do you mean he gets you in trouble? Like he says stop being mean.

SPEAKER_02

No, no.

SPEAKER_04

So maybe maybe in that situation, it's don't yell and scream at your sister, more like tell her politely to get out your room.

SPEAKER_02

If I do that, it's the same result every time. I swear, because she doesn't because if I tell her, if I tell her, I I can't say anything because I'm always right.

SPEAKER_00

So I can't I can't I can't defend yourself.

SPEAKER_02

If I'm if I politely tell her to go, she'll take it as a joke and like not leave. But if I have some bass in my voice, then she'll actually like think I'm being serious because I am being serious. You have a door on your room? Not this room. Are you not this room? My brain is fried in this podcast. Oh yeah, I have a door in my room. So shut it. I do. She she don't even knock, she just comes in.

SPEAKER_03

And this does happen. This does happen a lot. She she likes to go in his room, she likes to be around her brother, you know. And sounds like y'all's parents need to and with the with the age difference, I I get it. So it's not all the time, but it it will literally be he's upstairs. If I can hear your words and exactly what you're saying to her, it's probably too loud. Can we agree on that? Yeah. If I can hear what's the age gap?

SPEAKER_04

Because you're 13. Yeah. 13 and 9. Oh, yeah. I get yeah, that's the same age gap as me and my older brother. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

You know, a bunch of people say I sound 16. You kind of. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

You know, so that means I could drive.

SPEAKER_03

But uh That's not how that works. But I try to, I I try to I try to notice when they're upset. You know, you could kind of see a mood change in the kids. So uh I try to to be aware of that, but it's hard with their room so far apart and you're not constantly right there.

SPEAKER_00

So I get to have a apologetic conversation with Emma on the way home because I took the joke too far today and it it upset her. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So I'm gonna have to we've we we had that happen a lot too, yeah. Where the jokes get, you know, and you don't mean anything by it, but right, but you hurt their feelings.

SPEAKER_00

It's like, okay, I think I'm sorry. And Emma's a she very quiet, very introverted. She doesn't like she don't like her business on the streets.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Not in the streets.

SPEAKER_03

Not in the streets, man. Streaks. Have y'all ever been upset with me and I didn't know it.

SPEAKER_00

Have you ever heard the story of Pandora's box? Well generally when I'm upset with you, you're the first one to know. So I don't really hold things in with you.

SPEAKER_03

But that's good. We can I think that makes you stronger when you can kind of talk it out. Yeah. And it's be like, hey, this upset.

SPEAKER_00

Well, and we had we had a situation not too long ago where we kind of got into it, you know, the not got into it, but we butted heads and we separated, you know. Did that hurt?

SPEAKER_02

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00

We separated, and then later on that day we came back and we had a very rational conversation about how we were both, you know, feeling about it.

SPEAKER_03

So it was good, man.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's what has to happen, man, is is open those lines of communication without screaming, without hollering, without blaming and accusing.

SPEAKER_03

Yep. And just meet in the middle because we were both like, oh yeah, I should have gone about that differently. I should have gone about that differently. It's like awesome. Right. You know, it's it's really, really good. Ty. What? And I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04

I've got so many things running through my head around.

SPEAKER_02

Darn did he turn. He sounded like a white girl for some reason. What?

SPEAKER_03

What? That's messed up. I said, has there been a time you've been upset with me and you just refused to say it? Oh, if I have, I don't remember. All right, well, that's good, I guess. That's good. I guess it wasn't that bad. Um name again that pet Pandora's box again. I'm telling you, we got to put that thing away. That's it. Name a time you've been upset at your wife and you didn't tell her.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely not. I don't think there has been, because I'm pretty sure I've told Liv every time.

SPEAKER_03

That's how that's how I am. But sometimes as I I start to push, I get pushback. I'm like, eh, it's not worth a big argument. So I kind of, you know, sometimes I back up. I guess, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Well, and and really and truly, you know, as open as I am with you, with you guys, I I with Jennifer, I

Marriage Needs And Laundry Tension

SPEAKER_00

I do tend to hold things in more. Yeah. And I I don't I don't because I don't want to start a fight as a general rule, but for some reason, which now I'm getting better at voicing what I need, yeah, which is so important in a relationship. You you have to tell the other person what you need. Yeah. You have to get that out there and be like, hey, look, we're in this together. I need you to fill in the blank.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah. Creating that line of communication and clear expectations. Right. Okay, here's what I need. Well, before we left, so me and Zeke went to uh Mountain Home this weekend. And I I've I have pushed back on this a thousand times over. That's a lot of times. The the laundry. We have a bunch of clothes. And when I go in the laundry room and there's baskets full of clothes, there's five baskets, two of them are dirty, one of them's half dirty and half clean because we didn't know what was dirty and what wasn't, and then these two are dirty, and I'm like, please, please help me understand why they're all in bad if they're dirty, put them somewhere different than with the clean clothes. And we kind of started going back and forth, and it got to the point where I'm like, I'm about to leave. I don't want to fight right before I leave. So I just kind of backed it down. But it it's sometimes you have to kind of pick those. Is it worth it right now? Is it not? Is it something I want to open up or not?

SPEAKER_04

Me and Liv are pretty good about how we communicate with each other in those times. Um especially when we know they have the potential to start an argument. Yeah. So like we will both literally say things like, whatever it is, can I tell you something without you getting mad, without it starting something? I'm not trying to start something. I don't want to make you mad, but this is just how I'm feeling. Yeah. This is that is like almost word for word what Liv will say. Yeah. And it's and then and then normally I'm like, Yeah, like here we go. Okay. What all right? And then there'll be times where we're driving and Liv is staring off uh in the opposite direction.

SPEAKER_03

I'm like, what's wrong?

SPEAKER_04

Silent. What's wrong?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And that's a good thing about being with somebody for a a good amount of time. You kind of get those clues. Right. You know, and those hints from them.

SPEAKER_04

And I picked up on those clues a month into us dating.

SPEAKER_03

I'm like, all right, well, you wear it on your sleeve. Well, and that's usually how Zeke is, is is I can tell when he's upset usually. Uh because he wears his emotions on his sleeves. He's mad or upset or or whatever. I knew he was gonna say something.

SPEAKER_04

Constipated.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_04

I see it. Don't you see it?

SPEAKER_00

I don't want to be involved.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, so what do you have a wife, so I can't. Um Yeah, but you can learn these things. Write it down. Bro can't even get a wife. Bro can't get six foot tall.

SPEAKER_00

So anyway, I uh What do I need that for? I don't know where this is going. I have no idea what direction this is headed, but the the other night, me and Jennifer, we don't get to go to bed together a lot because I get up really early and she doesn't. But the other night she did, and I was laying there, couldn't sleep. You know, I had just a lot of stuff on my mind, and she said, What's wrong? All right, here we go. So I told her I told her a few things I was dealing with, and she's like, I'm not coming to bed with you anymore. So I've just a downer when you go to bed. That's like you asked.

SPEAKER_04

I mean that's one uh like I've heard

Sleep Schedules And Blanket Rules

SPEAKER_04

from uh a lot of different married couples. Like I don't want to say bedtime routine because that's weird, but it's like uh some couples will you know not go to bed at the same time. That's and I don't I don't know if that's a thing that's like for couples that have been married 10 plus years, 20 plus years, or whatever. Um the only time that we never that we didn't go to bed together was when Liv worked nights. That's the only time. Anytime that I worked a job where I had to get up, I had to go to bed at like seven in the evening and wake up at three. She was she didn't go to bed, but she was in the bedroom with me. Really? And yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean it's not a preference, obviously, but that it I think it is after so many years of marriage that you you kind of adapt.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I was gonna ask y'all, and I'll and I'll come back to you. You don't you don't have a wife, but this question will be in a roundabout way for you as well. But how how do y'all, how is your sleeping arrangements like your schedule? Like, do you do because this this is this is literally something that just it's something I find so interesting on on married dynamics. So do you have two different covers? Do you share the same cover? Do you do you go the what?

SPEAKER_00

I'm I'm ready. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03

Do you do you do you fall asleep together? Does one of y'all have to go to bed before the other? Like how how how was that dynamic in your house?

SPEAKER_04

Well, when it comes to the blanket, it depends on if um one of the babies peed or pooped on the blanket. So right now we have uh we both have individual ones because I can't remember I think I think Ezra peed or something on the blanket. And then we have, you know, the our king size blanket. Yeah. So right now we have two separate blankets because that one's getting washed. Um we go to bed at the same time.

SPEAKER_03

Uh I always wake up earlier uh because of work. So you always go to bed same kind of same time. Like, all right, it's time, you know, we'll go.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Interesting.

SPEAKER_04

Like we like if we feel like staying up, we'll stay up together. Yeah. If we go to bed, like obviously we don't coordinate like let's fall asleep three, two, one. Yeah, but I think it's m I don't know, it kind of flip-flops who falls asleep first. Yeah. Uh but usually if we're like, you know, it's a Friday night. Stay in the living room till like 10, 11 at night. Kind of depending on the babies too now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Uh, but normally it's around nine. And again, for cu for context, y'all been married five years.

SPEAKER_04

Five years together, six years.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Okay. Okay. So Rich married for 12 years. 17. 17 years. Wow.

SPEAKER_00

We're really close. I don't know why I said 12.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, it's weird. Anyway.

SPEAKER_04

17 years and uh we got your uh was it you got your you renewed your vows at 12 years?

SPEAKER_00

We renewed them. I don't remember what year it was. Yeah, I don't know. Don't get me in trouble on the podcast. I know any dates. Come on.

SPEAKER_04

I was trying to never mind. You know what? Pandora I helped. Now Jennifer's mad at you, and you don't know why. I see you on the side of the road with your thumb out, I'm driving by.

SPEAKER_00

That's messed up. Oh hitch, I'll get killed. So uh we we try to go to bed at the same time, and we do some nights, but most of the time we go to bed separately just because of our schedules. Uh we absolutely sleep with two separate blankets. I actually have a heated blanket that I use because we have very different temperatures.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I was gonna ask that too. Yeah, yeah. Summer? Yeah, do you do it's plugged up right now? That is diabolical.

SPEAKER_00

You hate yourself or I hate being cold. And I get cold really easily, so I don't know why.

SPEAKER_03

It's summer. When's it cold? And she when the air's running. And I was about to say, so she does the fan on, all of that. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

So the fans on that, which I've I've over the years I've gotten her to point that away from the bed because if I have direct air on me, I will wake up just snotty as well.

SPEAKER_03

So does she do it for sound or for both sound and airflow?

SPEAKER_00

So she is a tosser and turner, not going to sleep right away. I am a hit the pillow, go to sleep.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

But I will wake up multiple times up through the night and she'll stay asleep. So it's a we have very different sleep patterns.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Okay. And that's how. So again, I'll call I'll come to Zeke in a second. That's so we are we are weird creatures. So one, I've got really bad insomnia. So most nights it's a flip of the coin when I'm gonna be able to go to bed or not. So we do two separate covers. Have to, have to. She's a cover hog. When she hears this, she's gonna be so mad. Um, and we're we're about the same temperament. We we like it cold, but um there's times where depending on how my back feel, I even sleep on the couch. Yeah, you know, just to not bother her because I'm tossing and turning all night and I don't want to keep her up. So uh our schedules are about the same. So we we go to bed close to the same time, but there's some nights where I'm just up.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_03

Where I can't fall asleep, and I just end up sitting up turning the TV on. Um so Zeke. Yeah. Now we'll start with you and we'll go around. So you do socks or no while you're asleep?

SPEAKER_02

Um, no.

SPEAKER_03

No? No when does your wife go to bed?

SPEAKER_02

Um about like all the time?

SPEAKER_03

No matter what, no socks. I mean wintertime, summertime.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, like sometimes if it's like freezing cold or I'm just like dead tired, then I like keep them on.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

But other than that, nah.

SPEAKER_03

You become lazy. No socks. If you okay. Richard, socks or no?

SPEAKER_00

I have no preference. Really? Yeah, it doesn't matter. You just don't carry the way?

SPEAKER_04

No. Ty. Um no socks. Obviously, if it's like cold and say the

Socks Off And Burrito Sleepers

SPEAKER_04

heat's out, yeah, obviously.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. No, no socks. I'm saying. No socks. Now I have to be, I mean, I have to be like dog tired, but it's no socks. No socks, and I gotta wrap, like I gotta wrap myself. I gotta tuck myself in like a little burrito.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like a little burrito. I cannot sleep with a shirt on.

SPEAKER_03

Well, that was something too. Like who like so? Like, does anybody do P no P so no shirt? Okay.

SPEAKER_04

And so, no, and I've I've noticed this so many times. Like nights where I'm like up and I can't fall asleep. I've got a shirt on, take it off. In a few minutes, I'm out. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

I've been nearly choked out too many times with a shirt.

SPEAKER_03

Like you get up fighting for your life. What happened? Uh my shirt.

SPEAKER_04

Somehow the shirt's in a knot around her.

SPEAKER_02

Richard Death of shirt.

SPEAKER_00

Jennifer. Probably tied in a new spot.

SPEAKER_03

That's what really happened. Yeah. So Zeke, you you do. You don't do you have some PJs, but you don't always do PJs, do you?

SPEAKER_02

Nah. I normally sleep with shorts on.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Now, can you now I could sleep in a hoodie. I could sleep hoodie, sweatpants. Oh. Full on.

SPEAKER_04

No. Full on. It's gotta be, it's gotta be winter and the heat's out for me, too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

He's asleep with his chucks on. He's asleep. He's got a beanie.

SPEAKER_02

He got jeans on.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so it's it's it's weird.

SPEAKER_04

He's in like a suit while he's sleeping. I got a cardigan over the hood of the feet.

SPEAKER_03

Now, I'll tell you one thing, Jamie hit me with the other day. The coldest set of feet. Dude, I had shorts on. My whole leg went numb. I have never felt anything this cold in my entire life.

SPEAKER_00

She just Queen Elsa, you, huh?

SPEAKER_03

Just it like I burnt my skin.

SPEAKER_00

You're so dramatic.

SPEAKER_01

Man, I couldn't walk the next day. I know teenage girls that aren't as dramatic as you. No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_04

Speaking of feet, uh last night, don't jump the gun. No, uh, Ezra was laying with me.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And like, I'm pretty sure he was he he was definitely at least partially asleep. But they'll like kind of kick their legs, yeah, or whatever. I wake up at like four or five this morning and my back's turned to him, and he is just kicking both feet in my back. And I'll and I wake up moving like, what is going on? Why is this happening? Am I moving? Just like pushing, right? Pushing my back with his feet.

SPEAKER_01

Babies don't have logic, they just do it.

SPEAKER_03

And he was like, Dad, dad, dad, dad.

SPEAKER_01

That's the exact equivalent.

SPEAKER_03

Dad, dad, dad. That's so funny. So now we're we're gonna go to a segment where we we rank things. Okay, so we've been doing this, so we're gonna be ranking. And and today we're gonna rank still no chicken nuggets. Girl Scout cookies.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

I'm not well versed in Girl Scout cookies. So I will show I will show you the picture along with which one it is. So now this is the some of them for me might just be based off looks and what they're called. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Just depending on which ones.

SPEAKER_03

And and some of these are kind of newer, kind of newer ones, so they're they're not like the the classics, but some of them are. So Adventurefuls.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know what that is.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, Adventure Fools.

SPEAKER_00

I don't think I've had that.

SPEAKER_03

So five good,

Ranking Girl Scout Cookies

SPEAKER_03

right? Yes, five five's the best, one is the least on on where and you could rank all of them. You don't have it's not like you have one five, you could rank them all five and remember. I'm gonna say three and a half. So this one's brownie inspired cookie with caramel flavor. Yeah. That sounds amazing.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna say three and a half. Okay. Because I remember having them. I remember them being good, but I don't remember if they were like super good.

SPEAKER_03

So I'm gonna give three and a half. Three and a half. Okay. Adventureful. Adventureful. That's a that's a name. That is a name. It's a mouthful. Yeah. All right. So you went three and a half. 3.5, okay.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I got I have zero experience with these cookies.

SPEAKER_03

So Okay.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know. That sounds amazing.

SPEAKER_03

Zeke? Four. Four?

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna give it a two because I want to try it.

SPEAKER_03

It looks good. I'm gonna go three as well. Kind of middle of the road. They're good. They're good. You know, they're not not not terrible. Okay. Uh here's one everybody's had. Uh lemon lemonades. The lemon cookies. Nope. Never had them? Nope. Really? Just lemonade. Oh, the shortbread. Yeah. Oh yeah. Uh four. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Let me see. Go a half.

SPEAKER_03

Bro. What a point five? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Really?

SPEAKER_00

I don't like lemon.

SPEAKER_04

So it's kind of a yeah. Well, to me, lemon's one of those, like, it doesn't sound like it's good, but in like a cookie or like the shortbread, like fire. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But I love the flavored lemonades, but I don't like lemonade. Completely, yeah, it's completely different.

SPEAKER_04

That's like well, that's like me with like cherry flavored. So I love cherry flavored candy, drinks, juices, whatever, like ice cream, uh, whatever kind of pastries. Really? Yeah. So, okay, so it's more like I like the artificial cherry flavor, not actual cherries.

SPEAKER_00

Well, so you don't like any lemon cookies? Uh, not that I've ever had.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Try them all. Ty, would you give up? Four.

SPEAKER_03

Four?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, there may be a lemon cookie I haven't met. Zeke?

SPEAKER_02

Um, four.

SPEAKER_03

Four? I'll give it, I'll give it a four as well. Oh those are pretty good, man. Those lemonades are pretty good. Uh, okay. Peanut butter sandwich. Yeah. So the peanut butter sandwich, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I'm gonna I'm gonna give them a three and a half as well. Because I'm I'm not a huge fan of the consistency of the cooking. See, that that's a good thing. It's got it's got a like an oatmeal kind of texture to it.

SPEAKER_03

Which I'm not sure I got you. Yeah. It's almost grainy type. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm I'm gonna go a four. Uh they're fantastic with milk.

SPEAKER_03

So man, that's one thing too, is like milk takes them to another level. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, it takes some cookies too to hide.

SPEAKER_00

Like, I don't like Oreos, yeah, but cookies and milk.

SPEAKER_03

So you you don't like Oreo, really?

SPEAKER_00

No. No, just to eat an Oreo, I don't you don't like your mom either, do you?

SPEAKER_01

You kiss your mouth with that mom. You have I don't know what either one of y'all are saying right now.

SPEAKER_03

So you kiss your mouth with that mom? That's messed up. So here's one that that I'm not a big fan of is the chewy um now. This isn't Girl Scout cookie, but the chewy um oh, what is the the biggest like cookie Tagalong? No.

SPEAKER_00

The Caramel Delight things?

SPEAKER_03

No, this is just regular cookies. They come in the pack, you peel the top, they have crunchy ones, but then they have the Chips Ahoy. Chips Ahoy. Oh. They're weird tasting.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, they got a weird texture to them. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Like they're not bad, they're just weird tasting.

SPEAKER_04

Uh I'm not I'm not a fan unless they're the soft ones. Yeah. I'm not, I'm I'm not a crunchy cookie guy.

SPEAKER_03

I I'm not either, except for Oreos. That's it. Like I'll eat I'll eat crunchy cookies, but I don't prefer them except for Orion.

SPEAKER_04

And the uh what's the like the the Kebler like striped? Yep, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_03

Those are good. Yeah, those are yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Well, and I I generally don't eat cookies without milk, so the crunch is irrelevant.

SPEAKER_03

That's how I am too, yeah. All right, see peanut butter, peanut butter sandwich. Three. Three. Mine is a three as well. And I have to uh those I have to have milk with. I have to. All right, those raspberry rally.

SPEAKER_00

I haven't had that.

SPEAKER_03

I'm probably gonna give a 0.5. Raspberry Rally. That's one of those, like is that a newer one? Kind of. Kind of. It's it has another one. It's like the crispy with with uh chocolate on the outside. It's usually just regular cookie in the middle. Uh but this one's like, I don't know, Gap. We we won't even add that one because that one's all right. Peanut butter patty. This is a classic. The peanut butter patties, yeah. Five chocolate covered, yeah. Yeah, with the chocolate, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm with Tyler. Five.

SPEAKER_03

Really? Five's across the board. Five, five, Zeke.

SPEAKER_00

I can eat a sleeve of those and get another sleeve. Five.

SPEAKER_02

I was gonna like, I was gonna say 4.9 just to like just to mess it up? Yeah. Don't do it.

SPEAKER_05

Don't do it.

SPEAKER_04

He's gonna he's gonna he's gonna do it because he hates us. I'll go I'll uh yeah, just affirm that.

SPEAKER_03

I'm gonna I'm gonna wait and come back on that one. Wait on the way. Okay, okay. I won't. Uh I'm gonna I'll I'll give it a five. They're pretty fantastic. I'll give it a five. This is the first time we've had a perfect score, I do believe. Yes. I'll get all right, uh, truffles. So just the plain, plain short bread. Yeah, just short bread. Uh give it a three.

SPEAKER_02

The only like Girl Scout cookies I know the name of are thin mints.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. You bite your tongue. Bite your tongue. What'd you give it? Treffles? Three. All right.

SPEAKER_00

I'll just a two. There's a basic cookie. They're just yeah, no, no. They're not bad. They're just not like, yeah, I want those.

SPEAKER_03

And those are some that I could sit down, I'll eat a whole sleeve and not think about it. But again, I have to have milk with those because we need to make that a sound.

SPEAKER_02

Just laying on the couch. That's you. You need water! Yeah, that's that's you in the movie theater with no drink.

SPEAKER_03

Hey, hey, I got a drink today and I regretted it.

SPEAKER_01

Because you had to go pee when Spider-Man was doing stuff.

SPEAKER_03

It was really good. Okay, carry on. Saying nothing else. Really good. Saying nothing else. Go ahead, Zeke.

SPEAKER_02

2.5.

SPEAKER_03

2.5. I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go a, I'm gonna go with three. A three.

SPEAKER_04

I think three is my neutral.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Solid middle-of-the-road cookies. Yeah, bro. Uh uh Caramel Delights. Didn't we already do this? Oh, those are like the Samoas or whatever, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Those are like they've got like the coconut and then the Girl Scout cookies are. Oh, y'all are gonna hate me. Don't do anything stupid. Zero.

SPEAKER_02

You don't like cookies.

SPEAKER_03

I hate cookies. Yeah, you do not. Is it the texture or the taste? Both. Really? Okay. Man, a zero.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, that's a zero. I'll give it a half if we have to have something.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, we'll give it a point.

SPEAKER_04

I'll give it a half because I have tried it.

SPEAKER_05

Participation award.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I'm going a five. I think that because I I'm the opposite. I adore coconut. Yeah. And caramel and cookies.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and all the things that are in that one delicious little treat.

SPEAKER_00

And that's one I can eat without milk.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

3.5. 3.5. Man, that's too pretty. I'm going to five as well. Those are y'all disgusting. They're darn good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Y'all disgust.

SPEAKER_03

But I like coconut. I'm the same way. I like coconut.

SPEAKER_00

Somebody, Alan, said that eating coconut flakes, it's like he's eating toenail or fingernail clippings.

SPEAKER_03

He almost ruined coconut for me. Oh man. There's another reason. Fingernail clippings has even just been throughout his off time.

SPEAKER_01

That's the recipe. Well, it's Alan. You never know.

SPEAKER_04

That's reason number 13 for me. That's a bad joke.

SPEAKER_03

Like, all right. All right. We'll go with uh we'll go with two more. Caramel chocolate chip. So it's just a chocolate chip cookie, but it's got caramel chips.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I'll give that a four because I love chocolate chip and I love caramel.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Can't go wrong there. I'll I'll I'll I'll follow suit with the four.

SPEAKER_04

I'm assuming it's a soft cookie, right? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I've never had it.

SPEAKER_04

Um no.

SPEAKER_00

No. No, these are yeah, these are give it a three. I'm sticking with a four just because I love caramel and chocolate and I like some games. Yeah. Um 3.5. That's where he's he's middle of the road. He is.

SPEAKER_03

He's been, yeah. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna go a three also. Just because chuck chip cookies are the best. Right. They're just the best. So they're great. And last but not least, thin mint. No, it's the least. It's the least.

SPEAKER_04

Um I will give it a zero. Listen, if I want mint on my cookie, I'll just I'll just put some toothpaste on my cookie.

SPEAKER_01

That is a different flavor altogether.

SPEAKER_02

Why are you so like discreet about it, too?

SPEAKER_04

You're like, if I want to put some mint, no. No, because I'm trying to calm myself. See, I'm about pushed to the edge right now.

SPEAKER_00

I will give the 10 mint a four. Almost went a five just for its classic nature. However, I'll stick with a four.

SPEAKER_03

Man, y'all are breaking my heart, man.

Thin Mints Crumbl And Cookie Butter

SPEAKER_00

Don't go breaking my heart.

SPEAKER_03

Or headzik. Uh 10 minutes, man.

SPEAKER_00

What are you on the 10-minute train? What's going on?

SPEAKER_03

I was gonna do that.

SPEAKER_00

Four.

SPEAKER_03

Four. And I'm gonna give it a five. That is a perfect cookie. Don't why? Perfect cookie.

SPEAKER_04

I actually. You know what? Let this be the one time that I'm mad at Michael and I'm not gonna tell him. Next episode, I'm at you. Perfect cookie.

SPEAKER_03

We got whatever. And I I which which I'm a thin mint guy. Mint chocolate chips, my favorite kind of ice cream. Thin mint chip.

SPEAKER_00

Have you had the thin mints from Dollar General?

SPEAKER_03

No, wait, no.

SPEAKER_00

They have an off-brand that tastes really real close to a thin mint.

SPEAKER_03

Am I going on the way home?

SPEAKER_02

Tyler is Tyler would just put toothpaste on anything, you know. Clean your teeth while eating.

SPEAKER_00

I'll tell you. I just will. I'll tell you what a perfect cookie is. And it's not a Girl Scout cookie, but Miss Ann Trevillions no-bakes.

SPEAKER_03

They're really good. And I'm I'm not big on no-bake cookies. Those are good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I like just soft cookie. My perfect cookie right now is that Walmart. Right now. I haven't had crumble cookie in a while, so yes. As of August 2026. At Walmart, you know the sugar cookies that had like the frosty on them. Oh my gosh. They have a big one at Walmart.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, okay. That's literally about that big. Okay. Those are the best, and they're good price. Yes. They're really good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Well, those are a dollar a cookie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I like the live chocolate macadamia nut from Walmart. From Sam's.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I remember, I don't remember how up, but I remember the first time I had one. I was like, what is this?

SPEAKER_00

It was good. And I was like, what is this? I tell you one thing, unpopular opinion, I don't like crumble cookie. I mean, I think it's too much.

SPEAKER_03

I I am so I'm in the middle. Listen. So I do think it's too much. But I also like them. Listen.

SPEAKER_04

There are there are some. They're they're out there. Yeah. They're out there.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I think Crumble can be a little bit liberal sometimes. But man, they had a well not just like cookies, but like little mini like cookie sized pies. Yeah. Yeah. They had a biscoff cookie butter pie. I don't know what that is. Oh, that sounds good. Okay. Have you had cookie butter? No. No? No. You need to go to Walmart. You need to go to Walmart. Okay. Go like the peanut butter section. Yeah. Red label, red lid. Biscoff. Cookie butter. It will change. I am not even joking. I found this when I was in college and it legit changed my life.

SPEAKER_00

Do you make like PB and J with it? That's what I'm saying. Yeah, is it like that consistency?

SPEAKER_04

You eat uh peanut butter consistency. Kind of like peanut butter, yeah. You eat it with a spoon.

SPEAKER_00

You just dip. That sounds incredibly unhealthy. Not that I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03

Sure, but it sounds good though. So it I'm guessing it tastes like a cookie. It's have you had the the biskoff cookies? No.

SPEAKER_04

No. It's hard to explain. I don't think. But I'm I'm so serious. I'm so serious. I'll check it out. Like even I put Liv on this and she's like, you're right. Okay, yes, yes, I've had the Biscoff cookies.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You got a picture of them? Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Because I don't know if I have or not. Have y'all ever tried insomnia cookies? Insomnia?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Like Crumble. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

They got one of those in Paraguay. Those are but yeah, Crumble's a lot. But I do like the pies or the brownies or the yeah, those are really good.

SPEAKER_04

We went to a Sam's Club yesterday. Uh because we were in cage. Did you see my uh my well he was looking. I think he was mad because I was like, Ezra, Ezra! He was like, What? You know. Um, but yeah, we were there dropping clothes off at One Spawn Child. We're like, we might as well go to Sam's Club because they're you know cheap food there. And they had a brownie Sunday. So it was uh vanilla ice cream with caramel and just chunks of brownie. It's just so good.

SPEAKER_00

We don't need to start talking about ice cream because I will I man, I think I would ooh, I love ice cream. Yeah, I do too.

SPEAKER_04

That that that that should be the next thing that we would raise. Yeah, we can do that. And here's here's my opinion when it comes to ice cream. Sometimes you just cannot be just plain rich vanilla ice cream.

SPEAKER_03

I could not agree with you more. A hundred thousand million percent. Is I'll I'll just I want ice cream. It's a classic. I like I like this, you know, like turtle and and all that, but I sometimes I'm just vanilla. That's it. Or strawberry, just plain.

SPEAKER_00

I'm never, ever, ever, ever in a mood for just vanilla ice cream.

SPEAKER_03

Favorite ice cream topping?

unknown

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_03

One topping, that's it. What you going with? Uh I always go with crumbled up Oreos. Yes. Yeah, I'd see, yeah. Okay, crumbled up Oreo. Or would you rather have like whole Oreos? Crumbled up, okay. What he said. Richie Rich, what you got?

SPEAKER_00

Any kind of nut.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Like peanut, walnut, I mean, uh I like the crunch factor in a ice cream.

SPEAKER_03

Mine's uh mine is a a a complete split tie, either MM's or Reese's. Not Reese's pieces, Reese's or M's. Either one of those, I you flip a coin, I'm gonna be happy either one of them.

SPEAKER_04

I'm not a fan of like those or like chocolate, because I'm not I'm not a huge fan of the crunch. Yeah, like I like Oreos because you know it's almost like a like a powder almost. Yeah. They get crushed up so much.

SPEAKER_03

But I don't like having to chew my ice cream. Yeah. Uh you ever been to the place where they do like all the topping you put like gummy bears? It's terri. That's a bad idea. They get hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Crunch in your teeth. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Do you like the froyo like simply swirl pieces of expensive because I load it up?

SPEAKER_03

Well, I start panicking, obviously, when I get up there, like, all right, what do you want to put on?

SPEAKER_00

Of course you do. Um, um, um, um.

SPEAKER_03

Uh just uh caramel. Just say that's it. There's 48 things to put on that. Like, oh no, caramel's great. That's what I really want. It's just caramel. Please leave me alone and just take my money and give me my food. I love those mango bobas. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Dude.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. I dig it.

SPEAKER_00

I need some simply swirled now. Some what? I don't even think.

SPEAKER_04

Now, legit, you need to go. I'm I'm serious. You need to go to Walmart tonight and get some cookie butter.

SPEAKER_02

Dang. He said he's serious.

SPEAKER_04

Tonight. Put that on the list. I'm legit. There's very few things I'm serious about. My face, a wife, my kids, cookie butter.

unknown

That's on there.

SPEAKER_02

That is up there. Oh, for y'all that's listening, be careful when you feel like mountain home, same thing. It's you want to tell them about everything?

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Dude.

SPEAKER_02

Let me all right. We had a scary weekend. All right. So, right, we're going to Popeyes. Shout out Popeyes.

SPEAKER_03

They didn't involve a shark?

SPEAKER_02

Maybe.

SPEAKER_03

Not this time, no.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so, um, so we're going down to Popeyes, and my dad dad, right, he's on the phone with Richard. And this was my fault. We're driving to Popeyes, and my dad says, Oh my

Creepy Mountain Home Weekend

SPEAKER_02

gosh, Richard, it's a clown. And there was, I look up, and there is a clown in like on the side of the street, almost on the road, holding up a sign.

SPEAKER_03

And just standing there like just blank, just holding up a sign.

SPEAKER_00

That's messed up.

SPEAKER_03

In the middle of the day, creepy.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna come into service one of these Sundays dressed up. Stand in the back corner.

SPEAKER_02

And then And then when we get to the hotel, right? When we get to the hotel. Hotel, it was um yeah, it was a hotel, I guess. It's like the Romata.

SPEAKER_03

It's a hotel, I guess. But um I'll tell this story. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

They let us sleep there, so I guess it's a hotel.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so so me and Zeke, our room's like right up the stairs, second floor. So we go downstairs. I went to the vending machine that's in the lobby. You go across this like empty like dining hall where they do like dances and stuff. Like Christmas lights are wrapped everywhere. They're on. It's super creepy.

SPEAKER_02

It looks like the back room.

SPEAKER_03

It really does. And we're like, okay, so we walk through there, go get our drink out of the vending machine. Walking back, I got a it sent chills all down my body.

SPEAKER_00

Was it a cat?

SPEAKER_03

No, there's some some of the rooms. I almost would rather it have been a cat at this point. Some of the rooms, their doors face the inside where this dining hall was at. So as we're walking, there's a curtain, and all you see is an outline. There is a child that is standing there. All you see is his face. Oh no. Oh no. Out the window. Oh my god. See, and he turns and looks, and we like book it up to our room. No. No. I it gave me as soon as I was it gave because I mean he's just standing there.

SPEAKER_02

And all you see is his head and it and like his, and I thought it was a mannequin until we like started like running. And it blinked. And then no, and then it like started following us. Like meaning.

SPEAKER_03

Like no. It was what he was he was like this, like just looking forward. And then as we started like running, he just like turns and follows us. Blank expression, by the way. Like didn't move. You couldn't see it. I mean, just straight up just moved his head following us. Yes. We locked the door. We like locked the deadbolt. We locked the top of it. I was like, dude, I'm sleeping with my knife by me.

SPEAKER_02

And then and then this monkey decides to scare me. Like, bro. Oh my gosh. Yes. Okay. I'm brushing my teeth. This man, like, he was laying down in bed. Like, there's like a wall behind us or behind me, right?

SPEAKER_03

It separates the the bed from the where the sink is at. A little bit, a little bit of wall.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And I get done brushing my teeth, you know. I'm like, all right, ready for bed. Oh my. He's laying in the floor, staring at me.

SPEAKER_03

Like laying right around the corner.

SPEAKER_00

This is after the child. Yes. Oh, yeah, that's not good.

SPEAKER_03

He almost kicked me.

SPEAKER_00

His foot reared back. He's like, man, I almost kicked you in the face.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it was.

SPEAKER_00

So don't go to the Romata. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03

It was. But other than that, it was it was great, man. It was it was a blast. It was so good.

SPEAKER_02

I got to see um Preston. Yeah. He's pretty cool. Yep. Awesome.

SPEAKER_04

And when you're talking about uh that reminded me of a picture I took. So at church, uh Pastor Greg uh has a window in his office. And this is uh this is in the evening, and I get in my car and I look at the windows right in front of me, and I can really pee myself. Oh zoom in. He's got a freaking picture of Sam Davis Jr.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my gosh, it's just like random Sammy Davis just right in the window. That's not a real person. Okay, okay, okay.

unknown

Oh man.

SPEAKER_02

Until it turns and looks at you.

SPEAKER_03

And then his eyes follow you. And then he disappears. Oh man. Good times. Yep, but you know, we made it back in one piece, just maybe lost a few years and being scared. Some extra gray hair.