Almost Brothers Podcast
Whats up whats up whats up.. welcome to your new favorite podcast. Join your hosts Michael, Richard, and Tyler as we discuss God, church, life, and the journey through this crazy world. Get away from the stresses of life with this podcast. We will be hitting on various topics from sports, to life with Christ.
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Almost Brothers Podcast
Throwback Episode: Overcoming Doubt and Strengthening Connections
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Ever had nightmares that led you to therapy? We kick off this episode with a hilarious backstory that sets the stage for a heartwarming discussion. Rich brings uplifting news about his family, revealing how he and Jennifer are mending their differences with divine intervention. Ty, on the other hand, dispels rumors about his return to teaching and shares his excitement about the fostering process as he and his wife await certification. Celebrating the adoption of three foster kids, we mark a momentous milestone for the family. Meanwhile, anticipation fills the air as I prepare to preach at a youth rally and relish the joy of reconnecting with family.
Doubt can sneak into every corner of our lives, from our spiritual journey to our careers and relationships. We explore how to identify and address doubt early, sharing practical strategies like talking through feelings with trusted individuals and engaging in uplifting activities. The importance of a supportive community is underscored, emphasizing how encouragement and perspective from those who genuinely care can help us navigate through periods of uncertainty. Join us as we discuss the significance of maintaining individual identities within relationships and the risks of becoming overly dependent on a significant other.
Supportive friendships play a crucial role in personal growth, and we highlight how diverse networks can offer various perspectives and support. Through personal anecdotes, we stress the importance of building a foundation in Christ and the dangers of tying one’s identity too closely to a vocation or passion. Finally, we lighten the mood by sharing our current interests in movies, video games, and music, giving a special shoutout to the Christian rock band Wolves at the Gate and their commitment to aligning their theology with their music. This episode is a blend of heartfelt moments, practical advice, and a celebration of the joys in life.
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Almost Brothers Podcast Episode
Speaker 1Okay, well, let's talk it out. You don't care.
Speaker 3I don't care Y'all two, let's have a nice little brother-to-brother talk here, hug it out, come on, give me some.
Speaker 2No, You'll squeeze me to death it could happen or lick me Grizzly bar Grizzly bar Do the.
Speaker 3Okay, you got to tell the back story.
Speaker 2You can't be throw that out.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, all right, I didn't think about that. You did it.
Speaker 1You tell the backstory because I, honestly, I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about it. It's blocked out.
Speaker 2You wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares. He's the reason I go to therapy.
Speaker 3He's got pstd what?
Speaker 1oh my gosh, oh, it's a mage. Oh my gosh, oh SMH.
Speaker 3Got a headache now. Still love our intro music.
Speaker 1I know I do too. It's like it still makes you want to dance it does, it does to this day still makes you want to, it doesn't?
Speaker 3take much to get me to dance, though that's true, that's true got them moves like not dagger, like the opposite of dagger.
Speaker 1What's up, what's up, what's up? Well, here, wait a second. What's up, what's up, what's up?
Speaker 2I'm zeke and thank you for joining the almost brothers podcast that's right.
Speaker 1Welcome to a brand new episode. It's been a little bit, but we are back yet again with a new episode in your faces or in your ears something like that yeah, yeah, but anyway, yeah. So as always, I got rich how you doing I am fantastic man, just fantastic man had a good lunch with mama yeah, it was good it was awesome.
Speaker 3How's it going?
Speaker 1we gotta put that on here, boom, so how? Let's just start with how's life been.
Speaker 3It's been better, man. I think on the previous podcast we were talking about how me and Jennifer were going through a separation. Well, god has restored my family, so she's back. We're working through our differences, through our problems, and communicating better, and so God has really lined that out for us.
Speaker 2Come on.
Speaker 3Yeah, come on.
Speaker 1Not the snaps we do claps around here.
Speaker 2Real applause.
Speaker 1Right, ty, how's life been? It's been all right. So you're going back into teaching. Is that what we're hearing? What's going on? I don't know where you begin your.
Speaker 2I don't know where you're getting this not a credible source.
Speaker 1That's funny fake news. Fake news yeah fake news. How's life been? It's are y'all excited for fostering? Yeah, yeah well, you're just waiting on certificate, right, so it's it's done. Just waiting on a certificate, right, so it's done. Just waiting on a certificate, it's done.
Speaker 2I think we have to send in a couple things of paperwork. But yeah, ultimately, come on, donezo, donezo, that's good yeah, heck yeah. Waiting for the call. Call of duty.
Speaker 3We have three of our foster kids adopted Right, yeah, that's new, yeah, that's a new thing.
Speaker 1Yeah, I mean, you know, I'm saying just a lot, of, a lot of good stuff going on right now yeah, that's very cool yeah, absolutely, heck. Yeah, yeah, and we are. So I'm down to preach at a, at a youth rally, you know.
Speaker 3So I'm down in malden and I don't know where the button is for the claps. Is there a button?
Speaker 2there. Yeah, there we go. I was going to say there's a button for a boo.
Speaker 1Oh dang, that's hurtful, that's messed up.
Speaker 3Dern Dern, diddy, dern dern yeah.
Speaker 1Yep. So I got to come down and see y'all and hang out Me and Bubby's in town.
Speaker 2I miss Jamie and Zaley. Yeah, messed up.
Speaker 3So do I, though. The better half of the Simmons yeah, they're pretty awesome.
Speaker 2Yeah, they're pretty awesome. Better half of the family.
Speaker 1Yeah, but yeah, yeah, just excited to be down, excited to be here next couple days and ready to roll.
Navigating Doubt and Finding Clarity
Speaker 3I'm ready for tonight man, it's going to be good. It's going to be so good for sure, waiting for some lives to be changed tonight, that's right. Yep, but yeah, on this episode we're just going to be talking about doubt and how it can creep in, you know, oh just don't doubt, don't doubt, but it's inevitably going to happen multiple times in our life you know, it's one of those things that christians say you know, yeah, give it to god, don't doubt, don't?
Speaker 1you know it's okay right right, just pray about it. Just pray about it. Yeah, pray through it, I mean that's that's not helpful yeah, and it and it seems, at least in my life, once I start doubting it, it it like double it, so it doubles.
Speaker 2It opens doors to different things.
Speaker 1Yes.
Speaker 2To different feelings and thoughts. Yes, just beyond doubt.
Speaker 1It just piles on, which just makes it harder to get out of and makes it just that much more of a burden on doubting. I just kind of want to talk about ways that like ways that ways that you can recognize it while it's happening, you know, not not have to wait till oh, now I'm just like bogged down but recognize it as it's happening and things that you can do or things that maybe you have done to help get yourself over that. Because, like I said, I think we've all struggled with that at one point or another. You know, um, in our walk with Christ, and, and and just ourself, like it is just a myriad of things, not just in our walk with christ. It could be, you know, you know, and and in our job, like, am I at the right place, am I, you know? And it just kind of it piles on. So what are some of the ways that y'all maybe can recognize when that, when that starts kind of coming on?
Speaker 3well, you know when, when me and jennifer were going through all that, you know, when she wasn't there, I I had doubts about everything, like I had doubts about my relationships. I had doubts about my job, my where we're going to live, what we're going to do. Why is god doing this? Why is god allowing this? You know it. I satan had a foothold. Like you would not believe, man, it was crazy. But both feet both feet, that's right, but with with my church family, that's that's where that's what really turned it around for me was was having people in my corner that really wanted the best for me you, you know and solid, sound advice and and, of course, prayer. Of course, prayer was a big part of it. You know God pleased to help me through whatever this is Right and uh it. You just need people in your corner. You need, you need to surround yourself with people that want the best for you, even when the best for you doesn't look like you want it to Right. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, because that's one of the most important things is having those people in your corner and saying, no man, you've got it, it's all good, you've got it. You know, that helps lift you out of that and say, hey, we're here with you in the midst of that. On top of that and say, hey, we're here with you in the midst of that and, on top of that, being willing to talk through your doubt, yeah, well, I don't know how many days I talked to him on the phone that it was days that you and live would just come over and hang out, even when he didn't want that to happen or he. He may have just wanted to be alone, but y'all coming over really helped lift him out of that and really helped. Yeah, okay, like this is it's all good, god's got a plan through this, yep. So having that and and y'all probably just do it naturally and don't even think about it, but that's something that that means so much to people, especially when you feel like you're just alone in it.
Speaker 2So what are some of the things that that you do to recognize? Talk, yeah, talk, really. That's a I talk to live about, like when, like when I was teaching and going through all that, she was the first person I talked to about it and and just talking and not just doubt but anything it it gets your thoughts out of your own mind, yeah, and it it almost like physically like tables your thoughts to where you're like, okay, what am I actually feeling? And you're able to really kind of pinpoint that when you're physically talking about that stuff.
Speaker 1Yeah, I know me and me and pastor kind of talked about this a little bit Like for me. When I know that that kind of doubt is creeping in, I get in what me and Jimmy call a funk. Right, like it. It every single time you. It starts with waking up, just feeling off and then just like not really knowing what it is or where it's coming from or what caused it, but just knowing like I just feel off. Today, I know that doubts it's going to start creeping in and in one aspect of my life or another. So being able to notice that ahead of time, like oh, I just I'm not feeling it today, instead of isolating kind of like you said, is, as you talk with live, for me it's just spend time with my wife, yeah, uh, even even spend time watching, like put on a movie, do something to take my mind off of just how I'm feeling right and just kind of turn my mind off and play a video game or do something to help lift me out of that that's.
Speaker 2That's how those things start to fester, whether it be anger or doubt or whatever. When you focus too much on it and focus too much without talking, those things start to grow and they start to fester into things that really you're not. They're not true to how you feel, but they just develop into those things, yeah, and you start thinking those Right, yeah.
Speaker 1You start telling yourself that's true, like, oh no, maybe it is like this, maybe they do think that maybe this and it's again.
Speaker 2It just piles on piles on and then when you talk about it, talk to someone about it, you start. You get that kind of clarity of this wasn't as big of a deal as I was making it to be.
Speaker 3It might be a big deal it into a bigger deal than what it actually was. Oh yeah, yeah. And a lot, of, a lot of my doubt comes from my my own insecurities too, like because it's easy for someone to someone or my own mind to convince me that I'm not good enough for whatever.
Speaker 3It is that I'm doubting because part of me feels like I'm not good enough you know to do, whatever it is that that I'm doing, but I noticed that the more I'm away from my word and away from my prayer life, you know, when that starts suffering is when those funks happen more often and more severe. So gotta gotta try to stay there, you know.
Speaker 1Stay focused yep, and I know one thing I'm wanting to start. I can't remember I was listening to, it was a podcast or something I was listening to. I want to start doing like daily gratitude walks, like just down down the block of my house, because I think that is one way to stop that, that from creeping in, that doubt or maybe even depression is just name, just walk and talk to god about the things you're grateful for that right there will like start to ease a lot of that doubt that you may be having in yourself and your family and, you know, your marriage and God and and whatever it may be just being able to, to just be gracious for what you've gotten.
Speaker 1It's like, all of a sudden, it's like, oh man, I'm, I'm really blessed, you know, and and and making that a priority to do that. So you know what I mean. We say we do, oh God, we're grateful and we're grateful, but we get up and we just kind of go about our day. You know, we start our day and go. I want to start doing that every day, either to wind down or to start the day. Just hey, you know what God, it's just me and you.
Speaker 3I just want to be grateful right now, just remind yourself of what God's done for you.
Overcoming Self-Doubt and Negative Influence
Speaker 1Oh yeah, because I'm the same way like you are. I talk myself into crap. I'm failing in this and then everything, every aspect of my life. Now I feel like I'm failing in. You know, if I didn't pray today, or you know I failed God today, maybe I'm a bad husband, maybe I'm a bad father, maybe I'm just a bad person altogether. And it just piles it just more and more and you start doubting everything.
Speaker 3You know so bad person altogether and it just pile it just more and more and you start doubting everything, right, you know? So that's amazing how one doubt can lead to another doubt. You know, it's like I'm doubting how I, how I am as a husband, so now I'm doubting how I am as a father and how I am as a, as a friend, and it just it snowballs.
Speaker 1It's crazy how easily it can get out of hand oh yeah, and we're our worst enemy sometimes, as as we, it's like. It's like the enemy just gets that in, puts that thought, and he don't have to do anything else because we just pile on ourselves. It's like oh my gosh, maybe I'm not even called to do this now. I'm not even meant to do this.
Speaker 2It's like it's like those seeds of thought are the easiest to grow yeah, oh yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1They take root and and he and we water them. We're the ones that keep going back to that. It's like, oh my goodness. And then we get to a place we don't even recognize ourselves anymore. We don't want to do anything because we just doubt everything that we've done, everything that we're doing. We just don't want to do it. So we just kind of give up and throw in the towel, like now.
Speaker 2I was watching that. I was watching. Uh, the pastor. I told you about Dr Ed Newton. Yeah, he did. I literally watched one of his sermons yesterday, two days ago. He and he put that into a physical analogy of he had a, a physical garden they labeled as your mind, and then he had um, like what they labeled as your mind, and then he had, um, like what do you have Seed?
Speaker 2He had seeds that we, he would sprinkle over the ground. That was, that was. Uh, I think that was scripture or no that was. I can't remember exactly what that was, but in the water, water was a scripture and that was. You gotta, you gotta, plant these seeds of kind of positive thoughts and leave out the junk and use that scripture to help water those.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2And he did a really good job of just really putting that into a perspective that you can literally look at oh shoot yeah. That you can literally look at and understand that your thoughts are very powerful. That's important that you have to take your thoughts captive, because a lot of times, from a lot of articles I've read, talk about how your thoughts they're not really your own thoughts. They're the thoughts of the, of the things and the people that you surround yourself with.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2Their, their thoughts are influenced.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2So when you're being influenced by godly people and by scripture, you're going to have good seeds.
Speaker 1That's good. Yeah, yeah, and you're going to you're just going to overall think more positively about yourself, about others, about God when you're around. Just positive people.
Speaker 3Right.
Speaker 1Cause you could. You could be around Christians that are negative.
Speaker 3Right.
Speaker 1Or you could be around people that aren't Christians, that are negative, or you could be around people that aren't Christians that are positive. Even that's a good thing Just being around people that love you, that you love, that just encourage you but also it could be a detriment. When you're like, okay, well, I'm going to hang out with my church family, even though they're kind of negative, that could also be a detriment to you. That brings you down. Now you're thinking negative. We have to be very careful who we directly connect with. You know. Of course we want to be in people's lives, but who we directly connect with and allow influence on our life, we'll be right back. Well, hey there, this is Mike from the Almost Brothers podcast.
The Importance of Supportive Friendships
Speaker 1We want to thank you for checking out this episode. I want to ask you has this podcast encouraged you in any way? And you would like to give back? Well, guess what? We have a way that you can do that. Ok, you could do three dollars, five dollars, eight dollars or ten dollars a month. What this does is this helps financially support the show so we can continue to put out good content and encourage you. So if you would, if you've got time, go down in the show notes and click on that support button. That will take you to the page, to where you can give back and help us to continue this thing. Back to the episode well, it's, it's.
Speaker 3You know, I talked to you during all that when jennifer left and I my entire life. I never understood how somebody could get to a point in their life where they felt like there was no other solution but to end it. Yeah, never have understood that until I walked through a darkness like that. And it wasn't just jennifer leaving, it was a, it was a a combination of that plus my own doubt, plus my own self-hatred, just piling on to that, like you know, like what, like y'all are saying, and it's just it I. It gave me a new understanding for people that get to that low point, because if I had nobody to turn to right, what else would I have done?
Speaker 3you know what else would I have done besides to entertain those thoughts.
Speaker 1Yeah, and and that's. That's just. The sad thing is that a lot of people don't have anybody to turn to. They don't have, whether whether they kind of blocked them off and don't open up with them, or they just don't have them.
Speaker 3Right.
Speaker 1I can't imagine going through life without people that you could lean on.
Speaker 1You know, I think especially couples. What happens is we call it couple cult, where it's husband, wife and nobody else has any kind of influence on any kind of say. It's like it's us two, it's us two, and that's just not healthy, because what happens is you need somebody to lean on that you can get perspective outside of that marriage from. So if you don't have people around you, I could not imagine how to, how to clearly look at life without other people's perspective and say, hey man, this is what I'm going through. What?
Speaker 2do you think? I led a little devotional for youth uh, for the black river youth last week, and one of the things I taught about was talking about friends and your inner circle and how you're going to have friends and different people in your life for different purposes yeah not one person is going to fill every right purpose you you need, and you're not going to be that person for anyone else too yeah and that's not to say you know, you have, I have this friend because he does this for me and this friend because she does that but you're, you know it's.
Speaker 2I'm not the person that a lot of people come to for emotional support, because that's just not me yeah I've realized that because you're the Terminator and have no emotions. Essentially a robot Get down. But when you do that, when you start doing the couple thing you start giving and this is a TikTok I showed you the other day kind of aligns with it You're giving someone a purpose that they were never meant to fill.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2Yeah, I showed him a TikTok about how people with their jobs, you know this thing that they go to and do for eight to 10 to 12 hours a day, five, six, seven days a week. It plays a big part in your life but at some point a lot of us and I would dare to say all of us at some point try to get that to fill a purpose that it wasn't meant to fulfill.
Speaker 3Yeah, and it's the same thing you know with ministry, because you know we've talked more before about how that can become overwhelming to the rest of your life, because ministry is important. Hands down ministry is important, but it can't be everything. Your your first ministry is your family, is your home.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3So if you're not good there and that's one of the things and I hate to keep bringing it back to it, but that's just the darkness that I've went through lately, but when I was going through that I didn't have anything to give anybody else.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 3Like I couldn't. I couldn't be there for my friends, I couldn't be there for ministry, I didn't have anything to give. Yeah, so that was even more important to have those people that could pour into me when I had nothing to pour out.
Speaker 1Right, that's good. Yeah, because unfortunately, a lot of people are only around you for what they can get from you yep, so as soon as you kind of start going through the these places of doubt, what happens?
Speaker 1is they kind of scatter because, oh okay, well, I can't get from them, so I'm kind of going to back. Happens is they kind of scatter because, oh okay, well, I can't get from them, so I'm kind of going to back away and they don't want any part of you. But when you get people that really care about you, it's like I have nothing to give you. It's like, yeah, we know, that's fine, that's what we're here to give to you, like we're here to help you, you know, and that's such a great thing, man, I was just reading about this.
Speaker 1I can't remember who it was, but they were talking about how get you a group of friends that each one serves a different purpose, okay, so you've got the one friend that's encouraging. You get the one friend that can tell you how it is, even when it hurts. You get the one friend that is smarter than you, that you're learning from, you know, and you kind of have different friends that roll in different lanes in your life, so that you've got different perspectives of people that you can go to and get stuff from and as well as be able to give stuff to you.
Speaker 3Know you're, you're one of those friends too that you know you feel it and also yeah.
Speaker 1So it's like, oh, that is so good, like, because we, we tend to, you know, birds of a flight of a feather flock together, so we tend to have people around us that's just like us. So we're not growing and learning because they're.
Supportive Relationships in Personal Growth
Speaker 1They're just like us right you know, I want friends, that you know. You want a yes man, you want a a no man, that's, that's, I don't know about that. You, you want people to check you when you need to be checked. You want people to encourage you when you need to be courage. You want people to to to have insight into stuff that you don't have insight into, so that you can be a well-rounded father, husband, wife, sister, brother, pastor, whatever it may be. You know, make sure you have those people around you to help lift that and to help stop that doubt when it starts, because it always doubt may start in a marriage, in a relationship. It always funnels to your spiritual walk. Sure you know, if you start doubting my marriage now, I'm doubting myself. Now I'm doubting god, now I'm doubting.
Speaker 1You know absolutely it all funnels back into it. So to be able to stop that doubt as it's happening, it's such a huge thing because it's not a detriment to your spiritual walk. You're learning from it you're learning from that doubt. Um, you know, it's like when peter stepped on the water, he didn't. It wasn't the doubt in Jesus that made him sink, it was the doubt in himself, it was the doubt in oh, I'm out in this storm. You see Jesus, he's walking on water, he's fine, he's clearly good to go.
Speaker 2That's Jesus, surely I can't Right.
Speaker 1So once he's seen the storm that was around him, now he starts doubting. Oh oh no, oh no, he's not doubtingesus, because if he was doubting jesus, he wanted to reach up and call out to him and say help.
Speaker 3I'm saying he'd have never got out of the boat.
Speaker 1Right, first place, right, yeah so it's the doubt in himself that he begins to sing, you know. But what happens is, as we begin to sink, then we start doubting god altogether and saying oh god, why is this happening? Oh, are you even there? Am I even what I'm, you know doing what I'm supposed to be doing?
Speaker 1so it's a tough thing, man, because it does, it becomes a mental warfare right that, that I think we we isolate from people and a lot of people are dealing with it a lot more than they want to admit.
Speaker 3Oh, without a doubt, people have a hard time admitting anytime they're going through anything. Yeah, you know, and that's what you know. Tyler was talking about the emotional stuff. I don't know that I've ever talked to Tyler ever about anything emotional that he's been going. I know he goes through stuff but he doesn't reach out to people to to help him through that and he may reach out to you.
Speaker 3I mean, I talked to Mike every day, but I don't talk to Tyler every day. But the time that me and Tyler have is so important to me, yeah, but it's just not every day. Right, it's just a different role, but if you don't have somebody you reach to Tyler, you need to do so.
Speaker 1I usually try to get in there.
Speaker 3Yeah, make him open up.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's usually.
Speaker 2Andrew Andrew's.
Speaker 3Yeah, that's usually andrew andrew's yeah, I, I you know, hope y'all one day, yeah, but he's, he's kind of he's, he's that, he's that guy for me.
Speaker 2He lives in florida, right? Yeah, he's. He's been that guy since 2015 awesome good and that's good.
Speaker 1Yeah, because you again, you just having a well-rounded group that you can go to and get stuff front is is so healthy and and I think that a lot of leaders especially get scared about that, get get real touchy with that well, no, you need to come to me. You need to come to me.
Speaker 1That's not healthy, no I've heard pastors say that yeah like that's not like, hey, I'm going and I was talking to so-and-so, or or maybe go to counseling, whatever it may, well, no, you need to be coming to no. No, you know, like, yes, do they need to come to you with some things? Absolutely, but with every single thing going? No, because that's not a multitude of count.
Speaker 2That's. There's wisdom in a multitude of counselors, not there's wisdom in going to just your pastor. Yeah, that's not, and there's. And there's nothing wrong with just some personalities just just clash against each other yeah like and that's, that's fine. There's nothing wrong with you know, with just saying you know your personality is not bad, but it's just not something that you know kind your personality is not bad, but it's just not something that kind of resonates with me.
Speaker 3And that's one of the reasons I don't talk to Tyler every day. There's 20 years between me and Tyler. Yeah, we don't have a lot to talk about. There's just not a lot of things that we understand about each other, and that's fine. It's just a fact. You know that, like what you said, you can't have that deep relationship with every single person in your life.
Speaker 1You don't have time for it.
Speaker 3Right, I mean, it's just not possible.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2And, just like I was saying, every person in your life has a purpose. There's no point in trying to find one person to fill every single purpose.
Speaker 1And it's good to find that person that could fill multiple roles.
Speaker 1That's great yeah you know, be able to lean on them, for for you know a majority of things. But also, you know, just be, be, try to try to connect with, with multiple people and and get plugged in to other people because, like we said, you are that person for somebody also. Not only do you need that person there, you know you're that person for somebody else, not only do you need that person there, you know you're that person for somebody else. I know that's what's so good about like just being with pastor Randy, like me and him just kind of being together every day, is he's one that is kind of that well-rounded right. You know I could go to him with emotional stuff and spiritual stuff and life stuff and financial stuff and kind of throw things off of them.
Speaker 2But there's also things I talked to richard about, there's things I talked to tyler about, there's things I talked with my mom about, there's things I talked with my dad about and it's in kind of like he's saying how he's kind of multifaceted, like that yeah, that's not saying there's anything wrong with him, that you, that, the stuff that you talk to me or talk to richard you can't talk to, it's just you prefer that there's nothing wrong with preferring who you feel comfortable talking about certain things with.
Speaker 1Right, and it's and it's like, and it's just the also like the time. Like me and Richard have been friends for a big period of time, Then me and Tyler has been friends for a good period of time, Pastors by my pastor for a long, long time.
Speaker 3Right.
Speaker 1You know. So it's like that time difference also has a lot to do with it, because you know when someone walks through life with you you know it's a whole lot different.
Speaker 2Those relationships take time. I was just saying Andrew's kind of that guy that you know I talk more emotional things about with.
Speaker 1I've known him for going on 10 years now, yeah, so he knows that side of you a lot more.
Speaker 2Yeah, he knows, he's seen the best and the worst in me and he's been there.
Speaker 1Yeah, exactly, he's been there. Oh, yeah, he's been there. Well, that's why I'll go to dad with stuff that I just can't talk to mom about.
Speaker 3Right.
Speaker 1You know, I just can't get good advice from mom that I can from dad. Same with stuff that I talked to mom. I can't get that with dad. I can't, he can't, he can't be serious enough for five seconds to actually talk to me about stuff. You know, and you know, same with same with our wives.
Speaker 1You know there's, there's things that we I would never talk about with anybody else other than her, you know. But there's also things that I would never talk to her about. You know that maybe I'm struggling with, or maybe I'm I'm going through like emotions that I'm dealing with that I would never go to her because I never want to burden her with that. So I will go to pastor, I'll go to one of y'all and say, hey, you know, maybe I'm, I'm dealing with this.
Speaker 1So I just woke up today and like man, you know, this is, or I feel like I'm, I'm struggling in this area that I don't want. You know, you want to be the strongest you can for your wife. You know, of course there's things you're going to open up to her about, but you know, you just try to hold your own and do the best you can, even if you're struggling. But I think it's. It's when you get to that point of not wanting to open up to anybody, that's when it's like a problem it's. I love the men's meeting last night, you know we went to just just talking about guys opening up and their wives, like, wrote a few.
Speaker 1A couple wives wrote letters about their husband. You know, thanking this, the men, the man, church or whatever they call it like just saying, hey, thank you, I've seen a change in my husband and this is you know, I know he's dealing with stuff that he could talk about with y'all that he can't talk about with me. You know, that's such a beautiful thing.
Speaker 3And wives need to understand that, that there are things that that just simply cannot be talked about within a marriage. Right, and it's. There's a multitude of reasons as to why you know, but, but that level of understanding has to be there, yeah.
Identity, Calling, and Purpose
Speaker 1Oh yeah, and that that just shows. And that just shows faith in yourself. That oh cool. I want you to have somebody else to go and talk to.
Speaker 2I would question somebody and say, no, you need to just talk to me about everything. That's a tough thing to kind of come to grips with. When it's your significant other You're supposed to be their quote, unquote everything.
Speaker 1Right, we talked about this. So I never want and I don't think that's healthy. I never want jamie to depend so much on me that she can't live without me, right? I want her to be able to stand on her own and be able to say I can do this on my own, but I want to be with you. Don't need no man, but I want to be with you. Don't need no man, but I want to be with you. That's what makes the healthiest relationships. And when, when, when two individuals know that I can stand on my own, but I want to be with you right.
Speaker 1You know that. That way you're not so dependent. You see people that they get divorced or their their spouse may pass and they just cannot go on with life.
Speaker 3Right.
Speaker 1Because all cannot go on with life right, because all their identity was in that other person. You know. So when they leave, now that doubt begins to creep in, they go who am I without them? What can? Can I even go about this? You know, and, and I never want that we don't know what the future holds right. You know, I want jamie's everything to be god period yeah I'm a side dish. Not even a side dish, I'm a.
Speaker 2You know, I'm a he's dessert, and you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3You know what I'm saying no right, but I want, I'm gonna.
Speaker 1I'm gonna pretend and act like I don't but I want you know, I want her to know that all she needs is god, right? You know? I'm just extra right right, you know it's like bonus because that way, god forbid, something happens to me. I know she's going to be okay. I know she's not going to completely fall apart. Hopefully, you know, for a little bit, but you know, not completely fall apart without me, because she knows that I'm not her foundation.
Speaker 3God is well, we know that if something happens to you, it's going to be jamie that did it, so that's true, she watches all them crime shows.
Speaker 1Man, she knows how to get away with it be going up to her, are you?
Speaker 2you all right, I'm fine.
Speaker 1Yeah, right, I mean, don't look in the backyard. Boo, I'm so sad.
Speaker 3Don't worry about that fresh mound in the backyard, but I'm good.
Speaker 1I just planted a garden.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1Michael's going to be pushing daisies. Man, I miss her.
Speaker 3Oh wow, we didn't mean for her killing you to make you miss her.
Speaker 2you weirdo yeah, let's kind of like you're talking about how you don't want to it. You don't want jamie to be completely dependent on you and have her identity in you. I feel like a lot of us have placed our identities and different things Like with me. One thing I've been struggling with is my identity with music. Yeah, because I I'm always thinking you know why am I not here doing this with music?
Speaker 1Why am I?
Speaker 2not working with them and doing music and it's really I've really had to put it in perspective and and that I'm going back to that tick tock that shows you where the deal was like pressure on our jobs to fill this purpose. Kind of like me, I put a lot of pressure on music to fill this purpose and I'm like kind of slowly come to grips with really that's not my purpose, that's a, that's a gift I've been given to fulfill a purpose, but it's not my purpose and that's something that I still I'm, something I've been wrestling with for a while. It's just understanding that I'm. I'm something I've been wrestling with for a while. It's just understanding that I'm. I'm not music. My gift to music is not me.
Speaker 1Right, you're not called to music, you're called to Christ. Music is a part of that, but it is not the whole thing.
Speaker 3Yeah, and I think a lot of people misunderstand their calling and maybe that'll be next episode but yeah, that'd be good. Yeah, bit, yeah, that'd be good.
Speaker 2yeah, that's a very common thing yeah, there's a lot of pressure on that too. I'm called to do this. Did you forget who you're doing it for right?
Speaker 1well, that's why we see 75 year old pastors yeah they don't know how to do life outside of pastoring, that that is their complete identity. Well, I've done it for so long, it's all I've known. Well, then, that that's a problem you're putting. You're putting all of your foundation in pastoring and not in christ, right? You know they, they don't know how to let go. They don't know how to raise up the next generation. They don't know how to do that because that's all they've known. That's who they are, that's it. So it's like that is so unhealthy, right, and it's so. I don't know if this is the right word, but I'm using antithetical to what you're called to do. You're called to be with Christ.
Speaker 2Because at some point, you're making what you're doing your idol.
Speaker 1Yes, Instead of God.
Speaker 2Yes, that's good. Yes, because I remember I was talking to this pastor at this church I don't even remember what state and he was asking you know, like? Let's say you know, you're, you're a worship pastor and let in your musician. Let's say you lost both your hands. Yeah, what are you going to do now?
Speaker 2yeah and it took me a second and I said something like I was like you know, I'm probably not in that place, but I need that situation. I need to be in a place where I can say I can't do this anymore and that's okay.
Speaker 1Yeah Right, oh yeah, yeah, because it can be taken in an instant. Your, your ability to do that thing you feel called to do can be taken in an instant. Are you still going to chase God? Are you still going to run after him?
Speaker 2Or are you going to go?
Speaker 1oh, I guess that's over.
Speaker 2And I think we need to be careful about it too, because God will test that.
Speaker 1Yeah, oh, absolutely yeah. You will have no other gods before me. Period.
Speaker 3Right. Even if you call it a calling Right, it's still before me Well this is what I call to do.
Speaker 1Well, you're putting that before God, that so that in itself can. When that gets taken away and that happens that's when, if you're not right, if you don't have your foundation right, that doubt will be crippling.
Speaker 2Now what this guy was saying your job, your calling whatever is not your purpose.
Speaker 1It is something that is to help you carry out right. You're calling yeah, which is for christ. Well, on that, and that's where I was when, when I got hurt and left the factory.
Speaker 2We're not gonna name which factory I it was almost it was.
Speaker 1It was almost an identity crisis yeah, so I'm like I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking I had to go to work, like it was just such a routine and it was such a part of who I was. I did it for 13 years. So it was like, well, who am I now? When it comes to like the workplace, like this is what I've done for my entire adult life, like now, what you know. Even when I got hurt and I called james like, well, what are we going to do? Luckily she, she was ready to go, like, no, this is what we're going to do, this is what we're going to do.
Speaker 1But if it wasn't for me knowing, okay, this is a part of me, but it's not all of me. Now we're going to move forward. We're going to close the book on that chapter, we're going to go to the next. Okay, cool Turn. Okay, cool Turn the page on that chapter, not close the book. Oh, sorry, whatever, but knowing that, no, my identity is in Christ. I am a dad, I am a husband. I am so much more than a factory worker than a four digit number.
Speaker 1That in itself is what helped me propel forward into where I'm at now, you know that could have been such a crippling thing you know now crippling, no pun intended, with my back hurting, but it's like it could have been just a thing that absolutely tore me apart. I could have fell into alcoholism again. I mean, I could have just, I mean, had a, had a huge problem.
Speaker 2Sure, but I think we, you know, to hold fast to the fact that god will turn anything for his good. Yeah, if, if we put our trust in him and and really real, like really really put our trust in him. That's a hard thing to really understand how to do and what what that means. But you know, the bible tells us what the enemy makes for evil. God turns for good. Yeah, whatever we do could be for the evil of the world, but if we solely focus on following God and trusting him, whatever we've done, he'll turn it around.
Building a Foundation in Christ
Speaker 3Yeah, that's good. I think Mike nailed it a while ago having that foundation, because that's the definition of the word foundation, that's where it starts that's where it has to. If you're firm. If you do not have a firm foundation in christ, nothing else matters. I mean, it's, it's, it's going to be. Nothing you do will ever succeed if that's not your foundation period.
Speaker 1Christ is my friend, I know you're, I know that's what you're thinking, this is so moving into, uh, our next segment. That's what's up, that's what's up yep, yep what do y'all have going on in your life? Movies, video games, music, whatever it may be. What do you have going on in your life? A lot, oh, there's a lot really, yeah. Yeah, we're kind of talking last night about some of the yeah, some music.
Speaker 2I discovered personally uh a new christian rock band called wolves at the gate yes, they are good.
Speaker 1They are good. I've heard of them.
Speaker 2I need to check them out they're pretty good and you know, when it comes to, you know, Christian music, rock, whatever contemporary you know, I try to be as prudent, I guess is the word yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah, I try to be more intelligent about listening to people who are, you know, their theology is on point and they're you know what they write about and sing about is on point, and one of the things that I read in an interview that they did. Uh, they were like, well, what's what's the name? Wolves at the gate like what is what does that mean? And I think it was the latest. And he was like well, that's, that's not us. That is bringing to light what the bible tells us to be wary of yeah, wolves at the gate right and he and he's like our band's not a band, our band is a ministry, that's cool.
Speaker 3Are they?
Speaker 2kind of like a Disciple type music. They are Wow, I'm trying to remember I know Disciple. I'm trying to remember a song that I know by them, but I can't remember.
Speaker 3Let's go with Skillet. They're close.
Speaker 2I'd say they're a little more metal core.
Speaker 1Okay, yeah, yeah, so closer to Disciple than Skillet, right, right, right.
Speaker 2Yeah, they're like. I show them to Liv and Liv's like I've had this song on repeat.
Speaker 1Oh nice Heck yeah.
Speaker 3Yeah, rich, what about?
Speaker 1you, what do you got? I've got a couple things.
Speaker 3So we've been watching this show called Fire Country.
Speaker 1Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3It's about people that fight wildfires and whatever. I can't remember where it was.
Speaker 2It's like a reality. No, it's a, or is it? It's a? Like a drama? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3It's a drama, but it's. It's really good and the lead actor, I don't know him, but he's amazing.
Speaker 1But, um, and then we are going to start watching. It's an old show and I know y'all know what it is, but it's an answer. Oh wow you went back.
Speaker 3Whoa, I love when he assumes my age gosh smoking the band right, gosh right. This is why I don't talk to tyler. So anyway, uh, zane, he's our builder, right, our son, he can build anything. So there's a show called battle bots.
Speaker 1Y'all remember it, yep okay, yeah, they, they build really. You don't remember no battle.
Speaker 2They build their robots and they fight them in the arena I mean, I know, I know, like the concept, I've never seen the show okay, so anyway, there's seven seasons and it's on hbo max yeah so I follow them on tiktok because they've got tiktoks of like old footage and stuff.
Speaker 3But I thought that zane would absolutely go bonkers for this show, so we're gonna start watching that that's's cool.
Speaker 1Heck, yeah, man.
Speaker 3What you got.
Speaker 1I missed Star Wars last night.
Speaker 3Nobody cares For.
Speaker 1Star Wars. I was going to go watch that at AMC but I didn't get back in time to watch that Gosh Michael Jamie finally caught up on Stranger Things.
Speaker 3Oh yeah. Yeah, you said she was going to start it. She caught up on that, it was really good.
Speaker 1so we finish that waiting on the next season just not a fan.
Speaker 3Oh, it's so good, maybe I need to give it another shot so the last season, season 5, is about to come out would you say the first season wasn't great no, but I'd say the first half of the first season wasn't great.
Speaker 1So finish season 1 and they get better, they get better and better. Every season is better than the yes, for sure. Yeah, it takes, and they get better, they get better and better. Yeah, like, every season is better than the last for sure I got you. Yeah, I will put and I've, I've, I will. I've argued with this, of course, but I will put season four of stranger things, just that season alone up against any season of any tv show I've ever seen, including.
Speaker 3One Tree Hill, including One Tree.
Speaker 1Hill Wow as one season yes, that is the best season of TV I've ever seen.
Speaker 3That's tough, that's pretty good.
Speaker 1It is fantastic and I thought that when I first watched it and then, as Jamie watched it last week and the week before, I absolutely loved it.
Speaker 3There's four seasons right?
Speaker 1Yeah, right now, and then five they're working on. Yeah, I got you. Yeah, so we've been watching uh, station 19, it's a firefighter show. Yeah, uh, it's. I've always seen like like previews and a little bit, but I've never watched like in full episode so there's a.
Speaker 2There's quite a bit. I don't want to say wokeness to it, but there's a lot of trending things that they bring up in the show. We watched an episode yesterday. That was actually a really hard episode to watch. Liv cried. She said I made fun of her for crying. But I just looked over and was like oh my gosh Liv.
Speaker 3Which is exactly making fun of her, for crying.
Speaker 1I didn't exactly make fun of her, but I made fun of her.
Speaker 2It was about veterans yeah that's. That's something I've been feeling really, really strongly about lately, because I had a conversation with someone um, talking about veterans and how there's, you know, there's so many homeless vets and they're not getting the help that they need from the va and all that yeah and I was like you know, there needs, like we, as the american people, we need from the VA and all that, and I was like you know there needs to, like we, as the American people, we need to do something.
Speaker 2And they and I can't remember what I said I said something like we need, you know, there needs to be a tax that goes straight to veterans health or something like that.
Speaker 2Or we need to all just do the initiative to start helping and they're like well, I don't agree with that because they went over there on their own accord and their own choice. We shouldn't have to help, and I think that is the most I want to say self-centered, but it a man that I really left a bitter taste in my mouth because how? I mean, I don't know the statistics, but there is a very, very, very high percentage of all the homeless people in America that are veterans that need help.
Speaker 3Yeah, our government has failed our veterans big time.
Speaker 2And it's and it's this the saddest thing, because the episode focused on this one veteran and they were trying to help him as much as they could, and they were trying to get him all the help that he needed, and one incident just happened and he ended up dying at the end of the episode. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert.
Speaker 3Thanks for that.
Speaker 2They. You know, it took so long.
Speaker 3Darn Spoiler alert. Darn diddy, darn darn my goodness.
Speaker 2It took so long for them to give him the access to the help that he was going to get, and then something happened he lost all his paperwork and then he had to start completely from scratch all this paperwork, and then he had to start completely from scratch and it's it's like it's. It's such a aggravating thing to see that the process to get right any kind of help. The smallest little bit of help is days, weeks, months, years long through a process when they don't have days they don't even have hours.
Speaker 2They need help right now, right, yeah?
Speaker 2which I've I've personally dealt with that, trying to help dad get medicine and dealing with the va and doing all that, so and it's, it's pretty nuts you know, and people think that it's like it's the, the old vets that went to vietnam or some people that got wounded, like I have friends that did uh, four years, six years, and they are struggling with transitioning out of the military because they, because for those four years they live with these people and they and they, they, they're doing military life with these people for so long. That's all they know. And they come back and they there's, there's no one there for them.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2And it's like, even when I came back from bootcamp, that was a hard transition to deal with and that was just bootcamp. That was a hard transition to to deal with and that was just no, and that was just three months of bootcamp which would be a good episode to kind of talk about.
Speaker 1But I I kind of see in in between where you, where you're coming from and where whoever it was that that said, you know kind of, I see, kind of in the middle.
Speaker 2And Kind. Of. I see kind of in the middle and I can see that too. I understand that.
Speaker 1Yeah, because here's what I see is is people go to the military and they go and buy a brand new vehicle and they go buy a house and they go, but then they're homeless later. It's like you got paid to do that pretty well, more than a normal job. You know, if you go to the military, you're getting a good amount of money. So, yes, do you need help when you get out? Absolutely, but you probably did a bad job at managing money also yeah, and primarily I'm.
Speaker 2I'm talking about the just health care.
Speaker 1Yes, it's brutal, yeah, it's brutal like mental health I took. It took me an hour to pick up a prescription at the va. Yeah, there.
Speaker 3there's no reason Went down to one?
Speaker 1No, it's not. Go down here. Went down there. No, they didn't send it out. Go back here. You didn't send it down, okay, we'll send it down. Go back there to get the paper, come back to get it. It was nuts man. I'm like what is going on right now? It's crazy. And I think the bad part is we find ways to help people that aren't working, through food stamps, through all these different programs. Can we not make some programs to help our veterans?
Speaker 3We, should, we should, absolutely.
Speaker 1Like what are we doing? Come on, That'd be a good episode to talk about. We have dad on.
Speaker 3I have dad and mom.
Speaker 1Yeah, I have all three of y'all's perspectives on, because you were in for a little bit, mom was in for a while and then dad was in the full thing. So getting a good run, that'd be cool.
Speaker 3Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1What else is on y'all's hearts?
Speaker 3So you said earlier that there are some people that just don't have anybody to talk to. So I want I've not put myself on any kind of pedestal or anything but my phone number is 573-529-5314. Anybody that wants to call that number at any time and talk. I am there for you oh, there you go hey, nice pedestal.
Speaker 2Where'd you get that? I hit you with nice pedestal. Where'd you get that from?
Speaker 3I hit you with a pedestal.
Speaker 1Hey, look at that pedestal. Oh, that's funny. We all are awesome man.
Speaker 3I love y'all, love you too. Okay, I was like this is awkward. I was taking a drink when you said it.
Speaker 2Man, my goodness, you're getting too sappy on me. Too much Good talk about love, love y'all.
Speaker 3Hey listeners, we just want to thank you for your continued support for the Almost Brothers podcast. Do us a favor and go to your favorite platform and rate us and like us and share with everyone that you know. Thank you so much, love you.
